Life

Sunday, 3 October 2010
23:19

It isn't very late at night,
but it is long past the time everyone would expect me to have slept.

My door is closed, my window shut, msn logged out and
not on facebook either.
Tonight, I have retreated to the seclusion of my bedroom-

my sanctuary.

---

At long last the long-awaited dream of 'after promos' has arrived. This night, I stand before the biggest obstacle in my life, speechless and perhaps doubting my ability to climb it. I have just scaled a mountain, to be daunted by the fact that an even taller one stands behind it.

The fact is, before this, every failure and setback could be tossed towards this distant dream. I failed my Math test and - nevermind, I can always study after promos. I lost a bout- nevermind, I will train harder after promos. I hurt a friend- nevermind, I will make it up to him after promos.
Promos- a fear that had gripped me thoroughly, has unknowingly became my excuse and perhaps, even my pillar of support. For everything and anything- there is always after promos.

But the day has come that the only cleavage between now and after promos is a three hour long paper.
There is time no more.

But through this struggle up the mountain of promotion, I have realised some things about myself. I can, and will be able to achieve things that I thought never was possible. Never in my fucking puny life would I have imagined sitting in the library from 8am to 9pm studying. Try to catch up, I would say, is a better term for that. After returning home, I continue. At times, the attempts are futile, but there are times where I succeeded. Late hours didn't stop me, although previously I honestly don't touch anything academic after 9pm. No, late hours were but a minor problem. The major problem was the emotional stress I had to go through while concentrating on studying. It was truly shit, trying to cope with unstable emotions as well as promos at the same time,

but I pulled through.

Tomorrow is a brand new beginning and also the time to put my plans to test.
I've proven myself worthy of being immortal with this test run, and from tomorrow onwards,

I'll achieve my ultimate goal-
Gold medal at interschools.
I'll stop at nothing,

I've been having these weird thoughts lately;
like,
Is any of this for real, or not?